Stories I heard the most

Sometimes loneliness is a blessing, especially when it is self imposed. This is partially true for me about this weekend. I was just at room, going out for 2 meals on each day and spending most of my time in front of laptop or by sleeping. During the post lunch nap today, I had a visit by Dad in my dreams- the most common figure in my dreams. I woke up soon with a lot of memories of him. He was a more like a grandfather to me as I was youngest of four in the family. He caned me just once or twice, he never said a ‘no’ to me and I could go with him to anywhere in the world.

My dad had a set of stories with some moral which I have heard atleast 20 times. Thereafter the title of stories would convey the meaning. Obviously they were not bed-time stories. I would like to share some of my favorites of the same old stories with everyone.

The Dead Dog

It’s probably the smallest story, but the best.

A dog was lying dead on the road. Everyone who passed by said, the dog smelt bad. But the hero came by the road and said “Look at its teeth, they are glowing white!!” 

And obviously moral is find only good in others.

Dad and Son with a donkey

This is my personal favorite.

A dad and son were going with some load on their donkey’s back. Then someone on the road asked, why can’t one of you can also get on donkey’s back and son got on the donkey’s back. As they went on someone else asked, how can you make your dad work when you are not. So both of them swapped. Next person had the opinion of both travelling on donkeys back. Next was on opinion of no one on donkey back as it was tired and even asked one of them hold the load as well. Father and son obeyed everyone.

The story has made me a bit adamant too. I wont accept anyone unless, I feel its right.

Manager and Peon

You might have heard the story in different version too. But this was the most repeated story.

A rich businessman had a manager and a peon. The peon used to complaint, why the manager was paid much and had less work. So finally the rich man decided to answer him. Rich man found a load of firewood taken through the road. Rich man asked the peon to check whether it was for sale. Peon came back saying, it was. The rich man asked the peon to check whether it was dry enough to be used next day. Peon ran again. When he came, manager asked to for the price to peon and the peon had to run again. Now the manger was called and asked the same question and he returned with all answers for all relevant questions. 

Once again moral is so simple. Its not the hardwork that matters but smart work.

Be always the last!!

The dad was teaching his son, always take the smallest piece of sweet from the plate. And then dad asked his son what he understood. The boy was smart, he replied like- always be the last one to take from the plate!!

I m going home!!

Yeah!! I am going home again for the weekend. Don’t get into the false impression from my excitement that I am going home after a long time. In fact, exactly 4 weeks back I was at home; but 4 weeks is long period for me. At anytime, whether you go home once in a week, or a month or an year, u will wait for that days to come only to see yourself back to your routine much before. Last time I went home it was another proof of Murphy’s Law from the time I planned the trip.

I had to go home town on that weekend as it was my Grandma’s –I don’t have faintest of memory of any other grandparents - death anniversary. And the Mass at church was at 7:30. I booked a ticket for bus at 7:30pm on Friday, leaving my usual 10:30 bus. I am all set to go on Friday morning. After reaching office, I got a call from travel agency saying, I can go only by 8:00pm bus. Fine, I agreed. I can still manage to reach in time.

I was in the middle of the meeting at 6:45pm at office. My system was used for conferencing. Its ok, I asked my one of my colleagues to lock my laptop in one of the drawers after meeting. And I started running. As usual, my bag is not yet backed and there is no power at room. As I was planning to go to church directly, I wanted to iron my shirt too. Ok! I will manage in a T-shirt. And so while I was having my dinner by 7:45, I remembered about my mobile charger. Again I ran back to get and somehow reached back by just 5 minutes for 8. Then I heard the good news, my bus is at 8:15. Still I can manage to reach for church. I always hate waiting, and I am waiting for my bus to go HOME!! Finally bus comes by 8:50 and starts by 9:10. Still I had a hope of reaching in time.

Bus journey is always the same. Everyone wants a lady to be seated next to you, but only ladies can ask for it. But you can still feel something running very softly through your skin. After 5 minutes, you can make sure, bedbugs always causes irritation. I wont wake on any sudden breaks in the bus, but bedbugs... Bus stops for dinner at 11:00pm, don’t ask me who will have dinner at that time. After all, I still prefer bus to train.

And now starts the worst part. I woke by 5:30 in the morning; bus is stopped at the check post – state border. Checking is always there and it will take upto 1 hour. So I went back to my sleep. If the bus is not moving, I cant sleep in the bus and by 6:30 I decided to have a look outside. Then, I realised the scene was worse than I thought. Bus reached here by 4:45 and there was no conductor and driver in the bus. Someone tried to call the travel agency and they too don’t know what is happening. Issue is simple, bus had 2 feet tall luggage and it was more like a courier from someone to someone. So my first question got an answer, I wont reach for Mass. Now, I want to reach at the earliest.

I got into next local bus that came by and boarded to nearest town, Palaghat. I was seeing that bus stand for first time in my life. After a couple of calls, I found the shortest route bus to my hometown, Thrissur.  After 15 minutes, a guy from the old bus has got into this bus. In next 10 minutes, the bus which we had left hopelessly is just behind us and it soon overtook us and would have reached Thrissur atleast 30 minutes before me.

And finally I reached the town by 10:00. I need to travel for another 1 hour to reach my uncle’s place on a normal day. But monsoon always doubles your time for conveyance. It was pouring so heavily too. And finally I got down at the bus stop. After heavy rains, it was kind of flooded and I hate walking in water, atleast when I was no extra Jeans in my bag. And finally I reached, with just 5 hours of delay.

But my luck dint change now too. After dinner, we went back home. I had bought a new jeans after my last visit to home and wanted to show to everyone. Then I realised the fact, I forgot to take my jeans from uncle’s place. I immediately called to uncle’s home and it was aunt who picked the called.

Me: “ I think, I have left my jeans there”

Aunt: “No problem, your uncle will wear”

Me: “I don’t mind if he is wearing it, but I have nothing to wear tomorrow”

Aunt: “You mean, you haven’t got anything when you came from Bangalore”

Me:”Nope”

Aunt (she cant stop laughing): “You don’t have anything else!! you are the best.”

One of my uncles, who was going back only on Sunday morning helped me to get my only Jeans back.

And the Sunday is always short, especially if you are Christian. Waking by 8:30, going for Sunday mass, lunch and a small sleep will make it 4 in the evening. And time for me to leave.

The return journey will never be better, but I will be tired after the weekend that will have a sound sleep. Bus coming late by 1 hour, bed bugs and much more colder night.

Whatever be climate or by whatever time I get late, once I reach home, have some homely food and then lie down in my mom’s lap, all those golden days returns.

Again I am going home on this weekend and all my siblings and nephew and nieces are at home. And I am so eager to join them....

the YOUNGEST Child

I will have a chance of getting all your parents’ love and they wont say a ‘No’ to me often if I am the only child to my parent. This was what I thought during my childhood days especially when I had 3 siblings elder to me. And to be frank, I was not the pet of my dad or mom during my childhood days even though I was youngest. It was not their fault. My mouth was always wide open crying. I never let anyone interfere in my life. Even in my kindergarten stages I studied all alone. I was more lonely than a single child during those days.

I was self-fulfilling. I can play cricket alone - by bowling to wall and hitting back when it came make or by batting with a ball hanged from the roof, or I can play cards all alone with 6 hands. But its always better to play with many instead of all alone. To have daily evening cricket session or to play cards with all my family members were always better. So my “only child” theory fails. Being alone, unless it is self imposed, its boring and more importantly irritating to me.

But being the youngest was always fun. You can do all mischief and just point your fingers at your sibling. You are the safe. Just like ladies, tears are always for your rescue. (When I was even 12 years, my dad had given an offer of giving me one rupee on each “non-crying” day. I seldom let my father lose his money.) While playing cricket, I never lost more than 3 matches in a row or to phrase it in better manner – my bro hated me crying on ground, why to get thrashed. But off-grounds he always enjoyed making me cry. To cry was always my best weapon. Most days I would cry and would sleep just to skip dinner. My dad was always on my side, though he knew I was not innocent. There is a syndrome found widely among the youngest kid – Monday morning stomach-ache; I was not different.

But with time things has changed. I completed my studies and became salaried. I became more attached to my family like never before. And I started to face the youngest-child crisis. Even when I am going for a shopping, I need to report to mom. At the age of 10 or 15 its fine, but at 25!! If I am doing more than usual, I have to report to all my siblings and get permission from all of them even though final decision was always mine. And the worst according to me is someone else making budget for me. On the other hand, for my elder bro, things are just opposite. He is matured, responsible and whatever I am not. Everyone at home, rely on him like anything.

Now I feel, I should not have been the youngest. I don’t want to be under shades of anyone anymore. But what do to, I have enjoyed the same shades for more than couple of decades and I cant always get best of all. And I am happy about being the youngest.

We are the hardworking Software Engineers

When I was young I have heard someone saying, the laziest people on earth are school teachers. They had summer vacations, 2 set of other 10 days vacations, all 2 days weekend-off, class timing not more than 9:15 to 4:00, same syllabus for atleast 5years and more importantly no risks at all. But the best part is most of them will be complaining about their ‘hectic’ life. 

Time has changed, professions have changed, and schedules have changed. Teachers have to work on Saturdays, vacation classes are common and their life got more hectic but they are no more complaining.

Then who has replaced teachers of past decade??

 I believe it's people like me, “Software Engineers”. We usually have 5 days week. We just have to sit and relax in air-conditioned rooms for 9 hours of which normally we work for not more than 6 hours. And the funniest part is, we are doing something any high-school pass out can do; but we talk to others as if we are  working on rocket science. Salary, we can`t compromise on that, we need a 100% hike every year.

There are many common things I have heard or observed from many of my friends who are holding the designation.

1. If we reach office by 11:00, we are early. But we will stay till 7:30 in the evening. (Obviously girls cannot work after 6pm, it is late. Yeah, they can roam on a weekend till midnight, that’s a different scenario)
2. We don’t know why, all our seniors are dumb. Senior Software Engineers are dumb, Team Leads/Tech Leads are dumber and Project Managers are the dumbest.
3. We know how our seniors reached there- playing politics and favouritism.
4. At work, we have a “Use Me” tag; all works no one wants to do, will always come to us.
5. If we work on a night, we had a hectic day and need a compensatory-off. Same rule applies if we work on a weekend, even if it is for one hour.
6. Fridays are days for fashion-show at office, don’t miss it. (I loved my bus ride to Electronic City)
7. In a discussion, always use some random terminologies. For example, I once told my Lead, “The method you have implemented is based on greedy algorithm. This is a particular case of knapsack problem and we need to have a proper backtracking”. And my Lead immediately waved a green flag to my new algorithm.
8. After all these great works, there comes the appraisal. Everyone whom we hate will get a grade change or better hike, and never for us.
9. And finally we are bored with our work and no hikes too. We are going to try our luck with next employer

When it comes to person life, we again have some strict rules.

1. We can’t wake before 7:30 though we prefer 8:00. But on weekend, we cannot wake before 10:00. We hit the bed after 12, not even got knows what we do till that time.
2. We can wear only branded items, be it a shirt, jeans, shoes or whatever it is.
3. Volvo is the only bus we can get in. While travelling we need to hear songs from our phone and will be having a thick Novel to make others think we are reading a lot.
4. Multiplex is the only place apart from your laptop where we can watch movies. A movie ticket can never be cheaper than 250 bucks.
5. Bars are something which is no more matching us, we will visit only pubs.
6. We meet more friends in Facebook or GTalk rather than in person. We cannot live without internet for sure.
7. We can give treats with food-coupons like Sodhexo and Ticket coupon but cant buy you a Paav-Baaji by paying 15bucks.

If I have missed out any, please add them below.

No chicken @ KFC, Matty is still happy

It was a usual day till 6pm with usual Software Engineering works with lots of discussions and little conclusions (but thankfully we had some decision today). Around 6, I got a call from one of my friends, Shashi (name changed to suit the situation) asking for a movie. But I was not in a mood, so we compromised with KFC. I got back to work and when I was about to leave at 7, Matty(name changed) pinged me and to check my dinner plan. If I mention about Matty, he is the laziest man among my friends circle, who is happy to spend all his weekends sleeping at room, who wont go for a treat at best restaurant which is even 1km away just because he has to travel. Matty readily decided to join us.

From the time we reached KFC, Shashi and I found something fishy, Matty who always dies for chicken, doesnot want chicken today!! Then why did he come to KFC!!! to have some veg!! no way!! With our buckets we started off with usual stuffs before Matty started revealing. Though he is just 25, he has an active account in a Matrimonial Site for 4 months or so. He has got a couple of proposals as well. Then he started details of each proposal. One was from my hometown and other from his home town. He gave a brief about both of them like both having fathers abroad, completed engineering and so on.

The moment he started describing about the girl from his home town, Santro(I dont know her actual name, bt my guess is very close), he was getting pale, shy and a mix of many other emotions. Then he started to focus too much on the Santro, I just shot a random question - "Did u know know her before?". After initial denial he gave up. Now story is getting more closer, her bro is his long time friend, Matty has sent a request in matrimonial site to Santro and her brother has contacted him through Facebook. But Santro dint want a guy from IT field. After 4-6weeks, Matty and Santro met near St.Thomas' statue after Sunday Mass, but dint even talk. Before lunch of same day, his request in matrimonial site was accepted. Matty is more and more interested in narrating.

Its was Shashi's turn now, "You liked her before, right?". Matty was not able to withstand. Whoa!! Stories are getting even fascinating. I just had a spontaneous "for how long?". Matty was straight forward, "for last 10 years or so"!! Holy c***!!! Ten years back means, he is of 15 and she is of 12 - she is in 7th standard!! I dont even remember any of my junior girls even at college, which is less than 3 years history. Then why did he propose Emy(again name changed) 2 years back, if he loved someone for last 8 years??

Matty went on with narration, Santro's family has enquired about him a lot among his friends, and ultimate level of workplace from his Product Manager. Santro bro told Matty, all his family is family is up with a green flag, but Dad has to confirm. And her dad will be coming in July for 35 days leave. It was Matty's indirect message, "Kids, be prepared for my engagement next month".

Shashi and me, we have something common among us in last May. Shashi was interested in a girl but she flew back to her native town in May. During the same month, I got rejected by a girl on proposing. Now this friend, who has made us believe us he was in our league after he too had lost Emy, is getting married to a girl whom he loved from the time he knew what is love.

The guy who was getting now emotion was Shashi. I have never seen him that desp. According to Shashi, Matty had started planning his life from the age of 15, he found  a girl 3 years younger to him.. nearby but 2kms apart.. once she registered in matrimonial site, he paid 3k and registered himself and send interest to her. Unlike most arranged marriage where parents find the girl, he has done everything. Why werent I interest in my super-juniors while I was in school. I could not answer to Shashi.

All I can say now is, "Matty, we will meet for your engagement. Best wishes!!"

(PS: All characters are 100% existing, so please dont reveal identity of anyone while commenting)