We are the hardworking Software Engineers

When I was young I have heard someone saying, the laziest people on earth are school teachers. They had summer vacations, 2 set of other 10 days vacations, all 2 days weekend-off, class timing not more than 9:15 to 4:00, same syllabus for atleast 5years and more importantly no risks at all. But the best part is most of them will be complaining about their ‘hectic’ life. 

Time has changed, professions have changed, and schedules have changed. Teachers have to work on Saturdays, vacation classes are common and their life got more hectic but they are no more complaining.

Then who has replaced teachers of past decade??

 I believe it's people like me, “Software Engineers”. We usually have 5 days week. We just have to sit and relax in air-conditioned rooms for 9 hours of which normally we work for not more than 6 hours. And the funniest part is, we are doing something any high-school pass out can do; but we talk to others as if we are  working on rocket science. Salary, we can`t compromise on that, we need a 100% hike every year.

There are many common things I have heard or observed from many of my friends who are holding the designation.

1. If we reach office by 11:00, we are early. But we will stay till 7:30 in the evening. (Obviously girls cannot work after 6pm, it is late. Yeah, they can roam on a weekend till midnight, that’s a different scenario)
2. We don’t know why, all our seniors are dumb. Senior Software Engineers are dumb, Team Leads/Tech Leads are dumber and Project Managers are the dumbest.
3. We know how our seniors reached there- playing politics and favouritism.
4. At work, we have a “Use Me” tag; all works no one wants to do, will always come to us.
5. If we work on a night, we had a hectic day and need a compensatory-off. Same rule applies if we work on a weekend, even if it is for one hour.
6. Fridays are days for fashion-show at office, don’t miss it. (I loved my bus ride to Electronic City)
7. In a discussion, always use some random terminologies. For example, I once told my Lead, “The method you have implemented is based on greedy algorithm. This is a particular case of knapsack problem and we need to have a proper backtracking”. And my Lead immediately waved a green flag to my new algorithm.
8. After all these great works, there comes the appraisal. Everyone whom we hate will get a grade change or better hike, and never for us.
9. And finally we are bored with our work and no hikes too. We are going to try our luck with next employer

When it comes to person life, we again have some strict rules.

1. We can’t wake before 7:30 though we prefer 8:00. But on weekend, we cannot wake before 10:00. We hit the bed after 12, not even got knows what we do till that time.
2. We can wear only branded items, be it a shirt, jeans, shoes or whatever it is.
3. Volvo is the only bus we can get in. While travelling we need to hear songs from our phone and will be having a thick Novel to make others think we are reading a lot.
4. Multiplex is the only place apart from your laptop where we can watch movies. A movie ticket can never be cheaper than 250 bucks.
5. Bars are something which is no more matching us, we will visit only pubs.
6. We meet more friends in Facebook or GTalk rather than in person. We cannot live without internet for sure.
7. We can give treats with food-coupons like Sodhexo and Ticket coupon but cant buy you a Paav-Baaji by paying 15bucks.

If I have missed out any, please add them below.